5 March 2013


Now I obviously love food... otherwise this wouldn't have accidentally morphed into a food blog but food doesn't like me. Oh to have my sisters metabolism and slightly freakish self-restraint, but no, I'm the only person putting on weight while breast feeding. It's making me unhappy, I don't feel like myself, none of my clothes fit and I hate breast feeding so... I'm stopping, and I'm exercising, eating properly and I've bought Thinking Slimmers Slimpod Drop Two Jeans Sizes as fitting into my pre-baby jeans is the thing I fantasise about. Joe started off saying it was hocus pocus and a waste of money - and it may be - but it could help, and I need help. So I've told him to bloddy well be supportive.

The problem is that since being pregnant I have gained a sweet tooth and a habit of snacking, coupled with breast feeding I have developed a massive millionaire's shortbread problem. Massive. I feel like I have very little self-control and will power when it comes to sweet things, partly because I've never really wanted them before. I don't want to lose my love of food and I want to still eat what I want but I want to go back to breakfast, lunch, tea and supper. Not the continuous grazing that's become normal in our house. I need a change of attitude.

So I guess if I'm going to blog this experience properly I should give the gory details. I usually weigh between 8 and 9 stone. When I got pregnant I was 9 stone and during pregnancy I went up to a whopping (for me) 14 stone. That's a lot of weight to put on. Now a lot of it was water retention - everything was swollen, I couldn't wear shoes for the last four months, and I dropped 3 stone within the first three weeks (bearing in mind Ned was 8lb 4oz so not mini). Then just before Christmas I was slighty under 10 stone and there was a light at the end of the fat tunnel. Now I'm 10 ½ stone and not shifting anything. If I was still losing weight, even slowly, I would be fine, but I'm doing exercise, eating less and gaining because I get sudden crashes of hunger from the breast feeding and then eat stuff I shouldn't.

Now please don't get me wrong - I know it takes 9 months to get that big it should take a while to get it off, I'm not expecting miracles and I certainly do not expect other mums to shed the weight until they are ready and, if he needed it, I would waddle round being as festively plump as possible for Ned if that made him happy and healthy. But it doesn't. He's got to the stage where he's starting baby rice, he prefers formula and definitely would rather have a bottle so he can have a good look around, I will express my milk until it dries up and he will get as much of it as he wants but a mother who is unhappy with herself is no good to him and my complaining seems to be heading me for a divorce.

So I'm jogging at least twice a week, doing the Lean Machines post-natal exercises every morning, swimming on Wednesdays, cutting out bread and listening to my slimpod every night. Last night was the first night and it's kind of strange because you feel like a wally at first then you realise you've sort of drifted off... anyway, to early too tell if any thing's happening but I'm going to put a page on the right hand side so you can, if you want, keep track on my progress. There's a whole lot more to it than just listening to this 10 minute mp3 so if you want to look into it all the details are here.

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