6 December 2010

I heart Lakeland

Box full of parcels
Please note tasteful washing drying on radiator
Ok I don't 'heart' them. That's bollocks. I think it's more realistic to say I have an unhealthy obsession with Lakeland. So unhealthy that there is a bulging box of kilner jars, jam lids and cordial bottles in the middle of our bedroom floor between me and my bathroom. I knew it had got bad when Joe smirked up to me with a tube of edible silver stars which he'd found on our spare bed. Up until recently our spare room had been half Joe's study and half my imaginary secret place when things could be kept and their presence there would cancel out their purchase cost. But now we have people staying and my sickness is staring me in the face every morning as I try to get dressed in sub-zero temperatures.

The problem escalated when I decided to make Joe's family a hamper for Christmas. In seven years we've managed to avoid spending Christmas together - people think this is weird but we're perfectly happy about it, I think Joe welcomes the 4 day nag break (he manages to be in a no-signal zone in Cheshire most years). This year I was going to be with them but they've decided to go to France and little Miss Mouse is not old enough to have a passport yet so we will be in Hampshire with my parents cuddling the dog and cleaning up her continuous peeing (the little princess doesn't like the cold). So, rather than get them a load of individual presents they won't want (they all posses massive brains which I can't keep up with) I thought what a lovely idea to make them a foody hamper.

I immediately ordered kilner jars, jam jars, jam lids, labels, decorations and edible stars and then realised that this could backfire horribly. I could be sending Joe to France with a box full of disgusting horrors in various different size jars. Too late! Three massive Lakeland boxes appeared at my desk and I've been elbow deep in shallots and vodka ever since. I'm hoping that if it is all gross I'll just never know about it.

I'm having the last laugh though - this obsession has contributed towards Joe allowing me to get  a new pantry cupboard in my teeny tiny kitchen as I'm now making so many chutneys, vinegars, jams and oils that I'm keeping ingredients in cardboard boxes on the kitchen floor and even he can see this is not ideal. I'm so excited it's literally all I think about - I lay awake the other night planning what would go on what shelf.

Eek another box just arrived...


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